sometimes in the thick of things the words don’t come out right and then they hang over us like nosy neighbors or peeping toms. in the silence we look around the room, not caring about whether we see the Pink Floyd poster on the wall or the clock, missing the minute hand. Time drags on, just like it did following all of our fights. We would sit quietly not looking at each other, not seeing anything else until finally, one of us broke the silence. This silence was different though. It had a certain character or charm to it, inviting us to take part in some ritual dance. Now we had to decide who would take the lead. Would you, the powerful, strong-willed take it? Or shall I? And if we do start dancing, will we ever decide to stop?

sometimes in the thick of things the words never come

A little girl sat on her daddy’s knee,
all tangled up in his arms
he whispers in her ear
and her head raises in alarm
she can’t believe a word of what he says…
so he just kisses her head…

and he says,

the sky is purple and the world is flat
the trees grow upside down
people are crazy, and always laughing
because they’re falling down
sometime soon you’ll understand
and when you do….i’ll be crying
and you’ll be trying…to say ‘i do’

crashing falling all around
can’t be anywhere but upside down
burning churning music to my ears
washing and drowning all my fears
but all my hopes fade too
far away into the blue
never again, it whispers,
never again will you fall
or crawl or cry
this day will pass
it too will die
pulled ripped from the seams
shattered dripping empty dreams
lives altered joys reviewed
none of this picks up the mood
times are changing leaves a blowin
all the while times a glowin
waitin for someone to stop the flowin
stop the madness stop the rowin
please stop this madness
stop my rowin

He winks at me. It all happens way to fast. So fast that I’m not even sure it did happen. His body moves slowly as he crosses into the next room, removing himself from my line of vision. I’m sure that he is playing with my heart, holding me close but never too close to his secret life. All the same, I stare with such intensity that some freshman looks at me and then scampers down the stairs. I realize that I’m alone with the thoughts that consume me, have consumed me for almost an entire year. Kellie startles me by tapping me on the shoulder and I’m brought back to reality.