So I like the title of this blog, but it is deceiving. As Dr. Vohlidka would say, “Late Night Musings of an Old Soul” is a “sexy title”, drawing readers into a boring, seemingly useless piece. Oh well. For those of you who have obviously started reading, there is absolutely no reason to stop.

Thursday is drawing near. My own personal D-Day. Sara introduced me to the whole “write a book in a month” concept, which has a particular name which I cannot remember for the life of me. (If you want more info, I’ll give you Sara’s number). I’ve decided to embark on this journey and I have a few ideas which I’m not going to put into writing…just yet. At any rate, this is quite possibly the most challenging writing assignment I have ever gotten myself into, but I feel that I would be cheating myself out of a good experience if I refused to participate. I’m going to need a lot of support on this one…

In other news, Halloween was a good time. Good friends, good fun…what more can a person want? Tomorrow should be even better, seeing as it’s Sam’s BIRTHDAY Like us AGD’s need an excuse to celebrate?! Shoud be a good time

Now I have to go burn some creative juices before hitting the sack.

“It’s a deep and dying breath”….John Mayor’s calm voice floats through my brain. In the thick of things I think it got lost. I can’t even bring myself to take a deep breath now. Have I forgotten how to breath? I hate this. I mean, I believe in God and everything, but when someone passes away, I can’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of loss. Which is normal, but the fact that my brain realizes this doesn’t make the emotional pain I feel any less.

R.I.P. Mr. Hartz~You are missed

Date: 10/16/07
Time: 11:08 pm

So I’ve decided that I’m going to start a new blog, exclusively for my creative writing. I am still having a little trouble getting started; it seems I can never get the timing right. I sit down to write and find I have nothing to say, or I am not at my computer and I seem to have so much to say. I also want to start distinguishing my writing from my journaling. And at first, this blog will be private. I won’t post a link of it anywhere until I am confident that I have good material for all of you to see I know you’ll all look forward to that.

While I’m on the topic, I might as well state my goal for Oct/Nov in writing. I want to get a piece of prose published in the totem. That is my goal. Just one. My very far reaching goal is to get three published, but I want at least one. I want to see my name in a Gannon University publication. I want that piece to be from my heart. I’m excited about starting this project, but I am a little intimidated by it. I’ll keep you posted on my progress, partly because I will need as much encouragement as I can get.

Well…my life is a crazy mix of emotions. and whose isn’t? Sometimes I ask myself how I survive this incredible journey. and then i think….living is more than just surviving. well, at least that is what i think i’m doing.

Homecoming this weekend! (Vote Molly and Justin for Homecoming King and Queen! And Miles and Becky! I love them too! and Ryan and Alissa!! Super cool people ) This is what happens when you join too many organizations. You have to support practically everyone running for king and queen. All that said, Matt is coming up for the weekend, which makes my entire semester (except for aly’s surprise). I am more than excited. It will be so much fun to have him meet some of my friends and go to a dance together for old times sake. Junior prom wasn’t that cool (at least for me) and I want to make sure that this time, we get it right. Besides the actual dance, I get to dance in the parade! this is definately one of the coolest parts of being in AGD. Performing with all the girls is going to be fun and exciting. I can’t wait.

Time: 11:23 pm

I have to get to bed to be prepared for Mrs. Hammerman and her gaggle of boys at 8 in the morning…ah Prep. I have to love it. Well….?

There are parts of it I do love.

Fellow bloggers, with no one reading my posts anymore, I don’t really have much of an audience, which is okay. But just for now. Within the text of this miniscule blog, you’ll find….a little wishing, a little hope, a little venting, and a little bit of something called prose (if i can dig it from the dark abyss of gray matter in my brain )

I stared at the oil painting yesterday. For a long time. I ran my hand over the guilded frame, even though the museum guide has scolded me countless times for doing so. Something about the way the light streaming through the stained glass windows hits the painting sends shivers up and down my spine. Try as I might to stay away, I always end up at this forlorn treasure chest of a building on 8th Street.

Today I am deciding. Deciding where to go. To that painting, the one that won’t leave my head, even in sleep, or to the bay, where I can create something of my own? But I’m scared. All those painters we read about…the ones that lived crazy lives just to produce their own art, most of which was burned anyway. I don’t want to live like that. But the creator, the painter, the artist, of that oil painting, was no crazy person. She was my mom. Sort of. Maybe more of a muse, to be completely honest.

I visit that painting for inspiration. Not just for my paintings though, but for my life. I can’t remember the name of it exactly, because I have only concentrated on the frame itself so far. I’ll move on to the name plate soon, but I have to concentrate to catch every detail of the beauty. I want to spend just as many hours as she spent. She painted and I am appreciating. Day by day, even though she is long gone.

That is a little bit of prose for you. Now, here is my life.

Mr. Madonna, my math teacher senior year, died today at 1:00 in the afternoon. He was an amazing person because he truly cared about all of us his students. West Allegheny was his first teaching job and although it showed, he was definately progressing. He was fun to be around and he knew what he was talking about. I am forever in his debt because if it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have been valedictorian of my class. He helped me in more ways than he’ll ever know. I know he is in a good place and I will be praying for all of his family and friends.

Everything else I was going to write seems rather insignifiant now so I’ll reflect on Mr. Madonna for a minute and write more later.