After a hard look in the mirror, and perhaps more than one cup of coffee, I finally maybe possibly realized something. You can’t judge your life by the people you put in it. Your life is 100% yours. Granted, we all make mistakes….but they happen for a reason. If someone in your life is happy, great. You don’t have to be. And if someone is sad, it isn’t specifically listed in your job description that you be the person to make their rainy day bright. And this whole relationship thing? Not worth it. Really and completely. I’m not in the right place right now. This year started off terribly…with me reaching so far back in the past it hurt. Of course that didn’t work. And that is okay. It’s not supposed to. That was a tough concept to grasp, and one that I guess after last night did not sink into my head yet…(sigh) The point of this whole post, for me is, you have to love yourself before anyone can love you. And that means creating your own opportunities and believing that at the end of the day, your life may not be as complete as it will be in the future, but for now it’s all good. It’s all good. Repeating it like a mantra may bring the concept to life. haha Sometimes I wonder if I am creating the right opportunities. Who knows? I know I can’t go around spending my life thinking about the what ifs. I’ve been moved past that stage for a while now and it’s most certainly too late to go back. So for now, I will keep writing and dreaming, playing and believing and know that someday, somehow I will keep remembering to look at the colors and forget all the grey.